Nowadays things are just not that great. A sad feeling as been growing inside of me for the last months and it seems to have come to stay. I don’t actually know what’s the problem, I can see some problems in my present life but nothing too big to make me feel so blue.

It’s been hard for me to fall asleep, even harder than it used to be (I’ve always had sleep problems since I was a little girl) and, when I’m finally sleeping, I have nightmares. Not nightmares with monsters and deaths and the usual awful things that happen in nightmares. Most of the times I don’t remember why were my dreams so terrible and, when I do remember, I realize that what scares me the most is realizing that it was all just a dream. I know that happens to a lot of people, every day, but, every time I wake up to find out I was dreaming the pain is so strong that it actually makes my chest hurt.

Other times, when I wake up during the nigh (it happens every couple of hours now) I just have no idea where I am. And even worst, I sometimes feel as if I don’t know who I am. That’s how confuse I get when I wake up!

The only thing I know for sure right now is that everything hurts these days... Every breath I take, every movement I make, everything I look at, it all hurts. And it all makes me think about things that aren’t real to compensate. I’m afraid or getting lost inside my head and inside my imagination. And that hurts too. Like I say, everything seems painful now.

I don’tknow where this pain comes from and I have no idea when it’s going to pass. I only know this one thing, one of the only rules I have in my life – if it hurts, it’s gonna make you strong -, I don’t care how cliché it may seem. All I have left is to try to take the pain as if it was normal, try to act as if this weight on my chest was always here and try to learn something with this.

Even if it hurts so badly...